All About Money

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to shop.


When I have money, I have nothing to buy. When I don’t have money, I want everything.


Money is not the root of all evil, jealousy is.


A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and it taint mine.


Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.


Money can be lost in more ways than won.


Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.


When you’re poor, always spend your money wisely because it’s common cents.


The other day I went to the ATM and this old woman asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.


If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church?


If time is money, are ATMs time machines?


Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back.


If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.



Thoughts for the Day


Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.


Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.


God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman’s first question.

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