Outside the Registry Office: Marry Now, Pay Later!
Sign outside the church: “Next week’s preacher will be pinned on the notice board.”
Directions on a jam jar: “To open lid, pierce with knife to release vacuum, then push off.”
PATRONS WHO CONSIDER OUR STAFF UNCIVIL SHOULD SEE MANAGER.—New Delhi restaurant.
CUSTOMERS GIVING ORDERS WILL BE PROMPTLY EXECUTED.—New Delhi restaurant.
PATRONS WHO REQUIRE BATHING, PLEASE NOTICE THE CHAMBERMAID.—at a Germany hotel
IN CASE OF FIRE, PLEASE DO YOUR BEST TO ALARM THE PORTER.
These self-contained apartments are excellently situated near the Torquay sea front. Practically on the level.
– from a British tourist brochure
“The buildings are best viewed from the backside.” – from a Hungarian guide at the Houses of Parliament in Budapest which are in front of the Danube.
To avoid burning your hands with hot water, feel the water first before putting your hands in.
“Instant hot water, in two minutes.”