Funny newspaper classifieds

Nordic track $300 hardly used call chubbie


Bill’s septic cleaning “we haul American made products”


Shakespeare’s pizza free chopsticks


Found: dirty white dog…looks like a rat…been out awhile…better be reward.


Hummels largest selection ever” if it’s in stock, we have it!”


Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.


Nice parachute never opened used once slightly stained


Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.


For Sale:  2014 Lincoln Navigator:  Fully equipped, GPS, iPad & MP3 ports, premium stereo package, onboard computer screen, premium chrome spoke wheels, low miles, must sell to first caller. Full price $99, cash only.  Yes, this is serious. Husband ran off with secretary and said to sell his Navigator and send him the money.


Auto Repair Service: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.


Child Care:  Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.


Dog for sale:  Eats anything and is fond of children.


Free Rent:  In exchange for elderly woman

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