Sign in a bar: “Please do not insult our bartenders, Customers we can get.”
Sign in a pub: “If you are drinking to forget, please pay for your drinks in advance.”
Sign at a creek: “When this sign is under water, the crossing is dangerous.”
“Prices subject to change, according to customer’s attitude.”
“WANTED: Man to wash dishes and two waitresses.”
Sign outside a funeral parlor: “Parking for clients only!”
“Out to lunch, If not back by five, out to dinner also.”
“Boat for sale, one owner, green in color.”
Large sign on the door of an Australian church: “This is the House of God, and these are the Gates of Heaven.” And below in smaller print: “This door is locked between the hours of 6 pm and 10 am.”
On the barbershop window: HAIR CUT, WHILE YOU WAIT.
Sign on a photocopy machine: “The typists’ reproduction equipment is not to be interfered with without prior permission of the manager.”
Sign in an Albury Returned Servicemen’s Club says: “Don’t thump the machines, look for an attendan