“God didn’t create anything without a purpose. But mosquitoes come close.”
“At Jesus Way, take the right turn. Others go to Hell.”
“Blessing of pets. Bring your dog or cat or whatever and lawnchair.”
“Whoever is praying for snow, please stop.”
“Watch your tongue. It’s wet and slips easily.”
“Bored? Try a missionary position.”
“Triumph is umph added to try.”
“You may party in Hell, but you will be the BBQ.”
“He who farts in church sits in own pew.”
“Do you know what Hell is? Come hear our preacher.”
“The class on prophecy has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.”
“Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him.”
“Changing churches? What difference does it make which one you stay home from?”
“How will you spend eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?”
“Whoever stole our AC units keep one. It is hot where you’re going.”