Never trust a dog to watch your food.
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.
Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes.
Never bug a pregnant mom,
Don’t ever be too full for dessert.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him.
Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat.
Never do pranks at a police station.
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving.