Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course, I’m upset, you moron!
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
You’ll have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead.
I’m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling, because I think this is important.