Question: How many days are there in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 20% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: Idiot
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Lunch.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.
Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” Gene Perret
“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” Danny McGorty
“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!” Groucho Marx