Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
Bridger Winegar
This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
Guy Endore Kaiser
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.
Leslie Dawson Jr.
What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.
Don Marquis
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.
Henny Youngman
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.
Carol Nelson
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
Richard Lamm
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
Unknown