- If it moves, salute it; if it doesn’t move, pick it up; if you can’t pick it up, paint it
- Any military project will take twice as long as planned, cost twice as much, and produce only half of what is wanted.
- If at first you don’t succeed, call in an airstrike
- The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small
- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything
- If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush
- All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets… printed at different scales
- Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t
- The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map
- We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction
- All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins
- If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation
- The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you’re ready for them / When you’re not ready for them
- A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust; these people are called soldiers
Cybertrivia:
Military Humor