Question: How many days are there in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 20% discount.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: Idiot
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Lunch.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending coffee break.
Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.