IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER’S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than thirty days will be disposed of.
IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOPE WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants—please stay in your car.
NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)
SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.