“The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.” — John Mortimer
“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man — there’s your diamond in the rough.” — Larry David
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It’s expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.” — Amy Poehler
“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” — Phyllis Diller
“People say, ‘How you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.” — Dolly Parton
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope
“My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’” ― Rose Nylund, “Golden Girls”
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” ― George Burns