I have not written anything about this important occasion, Mothers’ Day, in my past articles eversince I started writing. I did not want to write about it because my own mother died some years back. However, I owe it to all mothers that I share some thoughts for them to ponder, hoping that this will inspire them to go on with their lives as mothers to their own families.
We all have our own mothers and, I believe, most of us are more attached to our mothers than to our fathers. They are the ones who do all the things for their children starting from the time of conception until they graduate from school, or at least before they leave home and start their own families. Fathers are there, too, but most of the time they are out of the house and sweating it out just to have enough savings for the nourishment and education of their children. This is the typical setting of a genuine Filipino family and most families in our land belong to this type.
When I started socializing with friends at school and from our neighborhood, my mother became a dreaded sight, seeing her tiger-look would mean I must go home, clean myself and do my assignments or be ready for bed during weekends. She was so unreasonable, and she simply would not let me extend my playing time with my friends. I hate her most during those times when she would let me sit in front of her to do her favorite pastime (hinguto) on my head. Of course, by now I know by heart that those were her ways of saying I love you to me.
I decided to have my hair shaved off because of my mom’s pastime which really angered me to the limits but there was nothing I could do because she was stronger than me during my elementary years. I hated it so much that, up until now, I hated to be confined in a single room for a long time. Psychologists say that these attitudes stemmed from those experiences which I hated most. But, good or bad, I really have nothing against my mother when I was younger. I attribute all the good things I have in me because God gave me the best Mom that the world can ever provide, and of course I also had the best Dad and the best sisters who never get tired of supporting me even during my moments of ‘insanity’.
Now, as a priest, I would always ask myself why my parents did all those sacrifices just to see us through school and have our own lives to live. They could have used all the time and money for themselves and for their needs. In this crazy world, there are parents who would abandon their children and keep up with their vices and addictions. There are even parents who would sell their children even to those cybersex maniacs. My sisters and I were so blessed and so lucky to have +Rodulfo Arcilla and +Murita Molina to be our parents because, now I know that they were real Christian parents. They did all those sacrifices for us because they were truly Christians.
I happened to administer some counselling sessions with some mothers a few months ago and some would say that they easily get angry toward their husbands and their children up to the extent that they exchange foul words and physical harm. I understood what they had been through, and I know that those things were equally hurting for all of them. And when they asked me what to do to remedy such situations in the future, my simple answer was for them to be Christian parents.
As Christian Mothers or Fathers, you have no right to say harsh words to your children, and you do not have even the slightest privilege to harm them emotionally and physical because your only duty and obligation is to love them. Yes, to love them even if it means giving up your very life for them. Children must be disciplined as they grow old, and I acknowledge that. But the manner of disciplining them must not go beyond the real essence of loving them.
Most children who became wayward and problem-children are those who never felt love in their own homes particularly with their own parents. Most of them are products of broken homes and irresponsible parents. Most criminals, just the same, were neglected and battered children and these people hate their parents more than anybody else around them. And now, who is to be blamed?
We always sow what we reap, and, with this, we really need to take on the challenge to be Christian parents to our children lest we see them fail in their own dreams and ambitions later in their lives. We are challenged to live out our Christian ideals to the best level of attaining it for the sake of our children and for their brighter future. This is a challenge to all mothers (and to all fathers) in this world so that we can look forward to a better place to live in the future.
Happy Mothers’ Day to all and I really wish and pray that you can all live your lives as Christian mothers because this is the genuine meaning of being a mother… a mother who is ready to give her very life to her beloved children. God Bless you all and God Bless all mothers!