Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have preferred.


My wife and I were happy for twenty long years. Then we met.


My wife told me she needed more space. I said no problem and locked her out of

the house.


Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.


Marry someone who can cook.  Looks fade, hunger doesn’t.


Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


I haven’t spoken a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted.


My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.


What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.


Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.

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