“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” — Nora Ephron
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.” ― Charlotte Gray
“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ― Mae West
“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” ― George Bernard Shaw, “Immaturity”
Funny Quotes
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” — George Carlin
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” — Oscar Wilde
“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.” ― P.J. O’Rourke, “All the Trouble in the World”
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Shirley MacLaine