Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.
Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.
The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.
A child’s observation:
If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation.
And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
What is the difference between a long-term spouse and a volcano?
With enough years of study and observation, one can predict a volcano’s explosive tendencies.
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams