Sacerdos in Aeternum (a priest forever) | Rev. Fr. Rommel M. Arcilla:

“Father, I Have Sinned”

One Saturday evening, I was exchanging messages with a former seminary rector who is now assigned overseas, and I was just thanking him for all the support that he had given me when I was still a seminarian. I told him how I really appreciate the way he guided me to love the priesthood and always try to find my way back into loving it every time I get lost along the way. We had a good chat and that was really inspiring for me to realize that I have someone out there, a person of authority, and a holy one, who is always praying for me.

In that exchange of messages, what struck me most was the word he told me about the Gospel reading last Sunday, the fourth Sunday of Lent, which is about the Prodigal Son. He told me that my life story is just like the Gospel story. I could not do otherwise but to reflect on what he said and realize in the end that; indeed, he has a reason for saying so.

In my almost 25 years in the priestly ministry, I may really have squandered most of the graces and those chances that God has given me to grow in the ministry. There were a lot of friends who turned their backs against me, not because of what they did, but because I did not deserve to be their friend. Many parishioners got disillusioned with the way I behaved as a priest, and I cannot really blame anyone but myself. I did not know how to appreciate those valuable gifts that God has given to me.

Somewhere along the way, however, I still believe that God will never allow any soul to be lost forever so He still gave me extra-chances to be able to go back to Him and share once more in His priestly ministry. There were some realizations that really helped me get on my feet again and ask for forgiveness, so He can allow me to serve Him in that Altar of Sacrifice. I know I am getting old and rusty, but I am not doing this because I am afraid of the punishment in that fiery furnace. Of course, I do not want to be there, but I simply wanted to appreciate God’s goodness towards me and share that goodness to others who are still blinded by worldly and material things.

“I am not a perfect person,” as the song goes, but I am slowly trying to pull out those imperfections in me one step at a time. This is what holiness is all about, our own imitation of the Christ. He knows our limitations and I know He understands each one of us, that we have that sinner in us. This can never be an excuse because we are all invited to rise above our sinful selves and be like Him no matter how late or slow we are.

Our present situation in this country is not friendly to those who are struggling to be better persons and to those who are trying to detach themselves from sinfulness. Sometimes these crazy ideas and mentalities, not to mention those equally retarded leaders that we have, can just put us down deeper into our own self-centeredness and sinfulness. These happenings invite us to shout and long for change that is so elusive, if not impossible. How can we remain calm and at peace when injustice sets in, where the rapists and murderers plus those robbers and corrupt leaders are recommended to be set free? It is so hard to become a saint in these turbulent times in our history, and it is easier to just flow with the tide of corruption, injustice and just embrace the culture of death. But this is not the Christian way of doing things. We must all stand up and live by the dictates of our faith.

What we need now is not a personal act of penance but a communal one. As a nation we are given these challenges for us to become united and go back to our loving God and tell Him that we are sorry for squandering those blessings that He had given us as a people. We can join hands and ask forgiveness for those people who perpetuated the murder of the lowly ones without fair trial. We need to pray for the conversion of our leaders who are like roaring lions ready to devour anyone who gets along their way. Lastly, we need to pray also for some confused individuals especially those who are thinking that they have all the rights to distort how God created them as males or as females.

We no longer deserve to be called His children for we have lost every gift God has given us. My dear friends, it is but right and fitting that we join hands in prayer, as brothers and sisters, and as a nation and ask our Father to forgive us. He will always be our forgiving Father, for as long as we know how to say we are so sorry.

How I wish we can also ask for forgiveness for squandering the many times we wasted the chances God has given us to improve our lives. Election time is here again. Let us make this chance work for us and for our country by choosing our right leaders.