Man always values his belongingness to a group, a society, a family, or anything for that matter. His sense of belonging to a particular group did not arise from his own desire but rather it is innate in him, and it is a very essential part of his social nature. Just imagine a man in a solitary confinement. All we can do is to feel pity for his misery. This is the reason criminals are made to suffer inside the four cornered prison cell and away from their loved ones.
We are all a part of a group, at least, we know that we belong to a family. We give so much emphasis on our family ties and this trait is very typical to us as Filipinos. However, there are both the positive and the negative effects of this trait. Sometimes it makes us do good because we have a family and a reputation to protect. But there are times when we, as a family, become united in doing evil around us. And so, it is good to ask: What is a successful family? What elements must be present to have a successful family? Do we need to have many children? Do we need to have fat bank accounts? Do we need to own several cars? Do we need to be on top of the world and be the envy of everyone for us to be successful?
Family, as I see it, to be successful must be patterned to the only model of a real family and that is the Holy Family of Nazareth. Theirs was not a wealthy, nor a popular and powerful family. But their family is filled with love for one another given the fact that they were poor in the eyes of the world. Their family is filled with the presence of the divine having the only begotten Son of God as their only child. Of course, we must not compare our family to that divine family but there is one aspect in their family that we can also imitate, and we have the power to imitate. They were so in love, and they were so happy! Isn’t it that success is measured by the degree of happiness that we enjoy? And true happiness can only come and happen to us if we have the power to love even the unlovable.
This is the challenge to all of us in this modern world. Let us live our lives in utter support for one another, especially those who need most of our love and concern. But how far have we gone in our struggle to live the way that will bring us closer to our savior? Let us not forget that the beauty of the person is hardly seen on the outside but what resides on the deepest recesses of his heart. Our Christianity is a life-long process of a life of holiness based on the love experience that Christ had shown us. Our vocation as a family must be based on this basic rule of life and that is our heeding the call to discipleship, a call to abide by the greatest commandment to love God, ourselves, and our neighbors. Another question arises from here: Who is my neighbor? Who are my brothers and sisters?
Jesus gave a very classic answer to this question when he said that whoever does the will of the Father is a brother and a sister to me. Here goes the summit of our life as a family and more so of our life as a Christian family. Our obedience to the commandment to love is the real essence of family life. Primarily, this is also the example that the Holy Family has taught us, but we never learn because we are only capable of loving those who are lovable and worthy of our love. We never tried to soar beyond the clouds of our mediocrity to love like the way Christ has loved us all. But this is the challenge for all of us here today, to learn to love others with the measure that the divine lover has loved us.
So now, going back to the question, who is a successful family? Can we honestly say that ours is a successful family? Can we proclaim to the entire world with our chin high up in the air that we have a perfect family? Take note that perfection in this context would mean holiness of life. Are we living up our own families with the kind of holiness that Christ is expecting of us being his disciples? I have a lot of questions in my mind, but I do not have answers to those questions.
In the multiplication of the bread, we see it as a miracle when Jesus was able to feed five thousand men not counting the women and children and they have twelve baskets of food as surplus out of only two pieces of fish and five loaves of bread. The story says that the five loaves of bread and two pieces of fish come from a young boy who also happened to be there. This uncaring and unselfish young boy did not think about what to eat on the second day, so he offered his food to be partaken by everybody else. And a miracle took place, they all had their fill and much more left uneaten. But this was not a miracle of the multiplication of the bread, but rather a miracle of a change of heart. They all have their food for themselves, but nobody showed what he has gotten because of selfishness. This uncaring young boy taught them how to give unselfishly and they were so ashamed. At once they realized that what they all have for themselves is more than enough to feed a multitude.
There is so much poverty in our world today and we are often prompted to help. But it is imperative that before we look around and try to remedy the situation of the world, let us first try to show love and concern for our immediate family members. More importantly, let us aim for that perfection in our family, and that perfection can only come to us if little by little in our own ways, we can walk down the road that will lead us to the Cross of Christ with our own kenosis (self-emptying). This is the vocation of every Christian, and of every family for that matter. To be able to bear the burden of the cross and die on it so that Christ will live in us and so that his redeeming grace with bear fruit in our lives and in our family as well.