Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Make it idiot proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
I used to have a handle on life. Then it broke…