Question: How many days are there in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?

Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 20% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?

Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

Answer: Idiot

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?

Answer: Lunch.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?

Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?

Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?

Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” Gene Perret

“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” Danny McGorty

“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!” Groucho Marx