“People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.” —Mike Bechtle

 

“People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” — Sophia Petrillo, “The Golden Girls”

 

“Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family.” — Bo Bennett

 

“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.” — Jarod Kintz

 

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

 

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

 

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with a——s.” — William Gibson

 

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” ― James Branch Cabell, “The Silver Stallion”

 

“Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.” ― Quentin Crisp