Among the twelve disciples, Thomas is called “the twin” and we do not know his twin brother or sister. This title had been on my mind for quite a long time because I wanted to know why he is being called that way and who is the twin brother or sister?
Bad timing is not the worst thing that can happen to us, but it is frustrating. Most of us have had the experience of being just a little bit late for something important, exciting, or beautiful. It is more than disappointing: it is aggravating, because often there is someone who is going on and on about what we missed, someone who, we suspect, is purposely rubbing it in. You can tell, because this person will use the word “most” in every description of what happened. “You just missed the most exciting part of the event! You just missed the most beautiful sunset!”
After the death of Jesus, the eleven disciples were always together in one place, not so much because of sorrow, but because of fear. They just witnessed what happened to the master and, if they did it to him, then they could also do the same thing to all of them. They had been trying to give hope and strength to one another for some days now. They wanted to go home to their own families, but they simply could not do that for the moment. It was Thomas who finally snapped. He stood up, gave the other ten a sharp look and said, “I am out of here!”
He went out and started to do what he would ordinarily do before the crucifixion. He greeted some friends and took his time under the heat of the morning sun and breathed some fresh air in contrary to the foul-smelling disciples who may have not washed even their faces for days. His mind was toying with the idea that when he gets back to the room where they were gathering, he would be the center of their questions of how it is outside and feel like a celebrity. But he was wrong. They told Thomas when he finally gets back into the disciples’ company, “You just missed Jesus! Thomas, you should have been here! He forgave us for abandoning him! He breathed the Holy Spirit on us! It was the most amazing thing that ever happened!”
So, when Thomas declares, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe,” it is more out of anger and frustration than outright disbelief. He has gone from feeling brave and happy to being told that he missed his chance to see the risen Lord. The regret is too great, the disappointment too intense. Who among us cannot sympathize with Thomas and his world-class case of bad timing? With his declaration, he became Thomas, the doubter.
During the week that followed, Thomas felt more regret as the other disciples were freed from their anguish because they had seen him alive again. They knew by heart that Jesus will appear to them again, but it will not change the story that Thomas was not around when Jesus appeared to them for the first time after his death on the cross.
In our Gospel last Sunday, after a week since the first appearance of Jesus, the disciples were again inside, and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, stood in their midst, and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” After this encounter, Thomas became a believer.
Now, everything that I was trying to question has been answered. Thomas, indeed, had a twin. They are twins, Thomas the doubter and Thomas the believer.
We do not see the risen Lord in the way they did, but we are just as blessed – and just as challenged. The Christ who walked through their door gives us his body and blood at this Mass. The Christ who spoke the words “Peace be with you” proclaims himself in these Scriptures. The Christ who breathed the Holy Spirit on the apostles floods our hearts with his Spirit, giving us the gift of faith by which our souls are saved. The Christ who appeared to the defeated and desperate apostles appears to us every single day of our lives in the poor, the homeless, the grief-stricken, the addicted, the foreigner, the desperate, and the lost. The Christ who sent the apostles out to proclaim his victory over sin and death sends us out to do exactly the same, that through our witness the Lord may add to the number of those who are being saved. We see this because we believe.
We are not Thomas. We have not just missed Christ. He is here today, in our hearts and in this church. He weeps in those who weep, he mourns in those who mourn, he rages in those who cry out against the brutal ways of man. He is sick in those who are sick, he is starving in those places afflicted with starvation and poverty, and he is lost in those who seek their joy in wealth and power alone.
We have not just missed Christ. It is not possible to “just” miss Christ. We must work at it. It takes effort not to see him, not to taste him, not to hear his call. The question is not, “Where can Christ be found?” The question is, “Where can Christ not be found? Where can the Christ who burst forth from the sealed tomb and walked through the locked door and broke through the apostle’s fear and shame not be found?” And when we see, because we believe, that nothing holds him back, that no corner of this vast universe and no corner of our sinful hearts is past the reach of Christ’s peace, then we have seen what the apostles saw. We have not missed a thing. Because we believe, we see. Everywhere we turn our eyes, we see the most wonderful, the most merciful, the most glorious Lord.