Yes = No

 

No = Yes

 

Maybe = No

 

I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

 

We need = I want

 

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

 

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

 

We need to talk = I need to complain.

 

Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to.

 

I’m not upset = Of course, I’m upset, you moron!

 

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive

 

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

 

You’ll have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

 

Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead.

 

I’m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling, because I think this is important.