“Instant gratification takes too long.” ― Carrie Fisher

“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” — Ellen DeGeneres

“Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” ― Bo Derek

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” — Jack Handy

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” ― Mitch Hedberg

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” ― Charles M. Schulz

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” — Joan Rivers

“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton

“It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.” — Shirley MacLaine

“I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” — Dory, “Finding Dory”