These are actual quotes of what people said in court, word for word:

 

Q: Did you see my client flee the scene?

A: No, sir, I didn’t. But subsequently I observed someone running several blocks away who matched the description of the offender.

Q: Who provided you with the description?

A: The officer who responded to the scene.

Q: A fellow officer of yours provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust this fellow officer?

A: Yes, sir, with my life.

Q: With your life? Let me then ask you this, officer. Do you have a room were you change your clothes in preparation for the day’s duties?

A: Yes, sir, we do.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?

A: Yes, sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: Why is it, officer, that if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those some officers?

A: You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex. And sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.