Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

 

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

 

Make it idiot proof, and someone will make a better idiot.

 

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

 

Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.

 

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

 

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

 

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

 

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

 

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

 

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

 

I used to have a handle on life. Then it broke…